Cauliflower Quesadillas

Background: My town is awash in quesadillas. This should be really convenient for feeding kids. Unfortunately, my kids will only eat the quesadillas I make at home with just two ingredients: flour tortillas fresh from the grocery store’s tortilla machine (or homemade) and a very specific brand of extra sharp New York white cheddar cheese. One night I decided to add cauliflower to the mix. One tried it. One opted for a raw piece of cauliflower instead. The other just ate a banana and buttered veggie noodles. I count that as a success. It’s embarrassing to consider fixing a dang quesadilla a move unless you’re Napoleon Dynamite. Here’s what I did:

  1. Get some decent flour tortillas.
  2. Get a head of cauliflower and break it down as in steps 6 through 9 of the Cauliflower move. Use some of the florets for this move and save the rest.
  3. Gather the florets of one quarter and break them down further.
  4. In a skillet, melt some butter. Toss the florets in salt and butter and cook to desired softness.
  5. On a griddle, melt some more butter.
  6. Slice cheese in strips and shingle the strips on one side of the tortilla, place on the griddle, and spoon some cauliflower onto the center of the tortilla.
  7. When it’s pliable, fold the tortilla to make a half-moon, flip, move to the back of the griddle, and start the next quesadilla.
  8. When the cheese oozes out and starts to get golden brown on the edges, remove to a wire rack on a sheet pan to cool.
  9. While the cauliflower quesadillas are cooling, make some back up plain cheese quesadillas.
  10. Cut and serve.

Why It Works:

  1. A Tortillería might be your best bet.
  2. On the other hand, you could make this easy meal when you are breaking down a cauliflower.
  3. A grater works for making tiny pieces.
  4. You might try steaming the cauliflower if your crew balks at browning.
  5. You can get a way with two pats of butter–one for browning each side–each evenly distributed across a two-burner griddle.
  6. I don’t know if everyone does this, but I slice my cheese for quesadillas instead of grating it. It’s faster and it’s still melted by the time the tortilla is golden brown.
  7. I also make my quesadillas in the D-shaped folded way, not the O-shaped layered way.
  8. You might line the sheet tray with a piece of foil to catch the drips so you don’t have to clean the sheet tray.
  9. Keep the plain cheese ones hidden in the kitchen until the kids (and spouse?) have at least tried the cruciferous kind and ask nicely for a plain one. Thank them for trying a new thing.
  10. I cut my quesadillas with a pair of kitchen sheers (another argument for D-shaped Dillas), the same way I cut damn near everything in my kitchen on a school night. They go right in the silverware hole of the dishwasher, unlike a chef’s knife and cutting board.

Mods:

  1. One thing at a time, cowboy. Just keep everything the same shade of golden brown.
  2. Do make yourself a dipping sauce, though. Something with Roasted Peppers, perhaps.
  3. Serve with Pico and Guac.

Chicken Breakdown

Background: Sometimes I buy or thaw a chicken over a break or holiday. I’m thinking, “what a great time to smoke a chicken.” Fast forward to 4 p.m. on the last day of the holiday and I’m trying to get my last meal on the table and I still haven’t done anything with the chicken. Probably I’m already making stock, so it makes sense to break it down quickly and throw the carcass in the stock.

  1. Get a whole chicken.
  2. Get some slider buns.
  3. Get your favorite chicken sandwich fixings.
  4. Get a filet knife and a cutting board.
  5. Get some Bragg liquid aminos.
  6. Get some freezer containers.
  7. You can leave some meat on the carcass while you are doing this.
  8. You should be going in at about a 45-degree angle.
  9. The tenderloin has a tendon in it that you will want to remove.
  10. You are going to be getting the leg and the thigh at the same time.
  11. Label it however you want. I grind mine.
  12. Are you making broth now instead of stock because you have introduced raw meat on the bones? I don’t know. Does it matter?
  13. This is to avoid raw chicken pieces (and potentially salmonella) from flying around your kitchen.
  14. Again. Raw Chicken.
  15. It can get pretty salty so it doesn’t need much time.
  16. Fire up a cast iron skillet or griddle and get it ripping hot. Turn on the hood.
  17. Butter the skillet or griddle and immediately start placing the cutlets.
  18. Just like you do with the Extra Thin Pork Cutlets in Soy Sauce, start laying them front to back on a griddle.
  19. By the time you put the last one, return to the first one you put on the griddle and flip once.
  20. By the time you get to the last one again, return to the first one and start removing them to a piece of foil.
  21. When you get to the end, gather up the foil like an untied sachet.
  22. While the chicken is resting, clean the griddle, and place the slider buns on the griddle to warm.
  23. Serve with your favorite chicken sandwich condiments.

Why It Works.

  1. Chicken is cheaper when you buy it whole and roast it or break it down yourself. You also get several options for how to use the meat.
  2. We’ve recently switched from Martin’s potato rolls to southern style yeasted dinner rolls
  3. Might I suggest, lettuce, Pecan Aioli and Quick Pickled Onions?
  4. Many people break down chickens with a cleaver or chef’s knife. If I’m quartering it, I will too. But I use a filet knife when I want to slice the meat off the carcass quickly instead of pounding through bone.
  5. This is like soy sauce, but it’s got non GMO soy beans and no wheat for those seeking GF.
  6. You could also wrap in butcher paper. I don’t because I don’t like having to wait until the meat thaws enough to let go of the folds in the paper.
  7. Cut on either side of the breast bone, from where the head was to where the feet are.
  8. You should be able to slide the filet knife under the meat and against the breast bone cutting down toward the point of the breast and back around to the top to remove the breast meat.
  9. Under the breast meat, you should see the tenderloin. Slide your knife under that and cut it out in one piece.
  10. Remove the legs by firmly grabbing the leg quarter with your hands and bending the quarter until the leg bone pops free. You should then be able to cut around it to remove the leg quarter.
  11. Use the fillet knife to get as much of the leg meat off the leg quarter. Put in the freezer and label as “chicken for grinding.”
  12. Throw the rest of the carcass in the stock pot.
  13. On a cutting board, put a plastic bag over the breast meat and tenderloins and any other choice pieces you aren’t going to grind or throw in the stock.
  14. Wrap a can in a plastic bag and pound the meat until it’s about a quarter-inch thick.
  15. Brine in liquid aminos for about a half hour to an hour.
  16. The liquid aminos will brown quickly and burn after that. So you will want good ventilation.
  17. The butter will also burn, so move quickly.
  18. I go left to right, front to back, on a rectangular griddle so that I know exactly where I started.
  19. Keep moving quickly.
  20. I like to pre shape the foil a bit by folding up the sides to catch the juices coming off the chicken.
  21. Leave it vented a little to prevent too much more steaming.
  22. Or don’t clean the griddle.
  23. Guac would work too.

Mods:

  1. Make rice instead of buns, use soy sauce instead of liquid aminos, and make stir fry instead of sandwiches.
  2. I don’t have time for more Mods. I have to clean up this mess.

Extra Thin Pork Cutlets in Soy Sauce

Background: I was trying out a gifted subscription to a meal kit service (for “research”) and picked something I thought my family might eat: pork tenderloin, fig sauce, potatoes, and carrots. I immediately threw out everything that was in the box that was not food. I stashed the carrots in the crisper for crudités later. I swapped out the raw potatoes for diced frozen ones. I saved the fig sauce as an experiment. (We have fig tress. The kids harvest figs. They eat fig cookies. They do not eat figs or fig sauce.) When it came to the meat, it was “eye round roast,” not tenderloin. This is an uncommon cut in pork. I suspect the meal kit service makes its money by making you feel like you are living “high on the hog,” while actually dressing up lower on the hog cuts. (The “phrase high on the hog” comes from the fact that pricier cuts of meats, like tenderloin, are the ones physically at the top of the pig. As you move from the back to the feet, things get cheaper. The eye of round comes from the (duh) round section, which is the leg. But it’s rarely called that with hogs. It’s almost tenderloin adjacent with the sirloin in between. It’s a fine cut, sometimes called a leg cutlet. I didn’t have time to think about what to do that my kids would eat so here’s the move I used. You can do it too. The plus side is this time it was free and in the future, this is a cheaper cut than the tenderloin:

  1. Get a pork leg roast or cutlets.
  2. Get some apples and potatoes.
  3. Start cooking the potatoes. If you aren’t sure how you want to cook them, try the Pretty Ok Crispy Enough Potato Cubes move.
  4. Cut them into smaller pieces if you want to stretch them.
  5. Use a tenderizing mallet to pound them under a plastic bag. Get them as thin as possible without turning them into carpaccio.
  6. Toss in extra dark soy sauce.
  7. Working front to back, start laying them on a ripping hot cast iron griddle.
  8. By the time you put the last one, return to the first one you put on the griddle and flip once.
  9. By the time you get to the last one again, return to the first one and start removing them to a piece of foil.
  10. When you get them to the end, gather up the foil like a loose hobo’s bindle and let rest.
  11. While the pork is resting, hit the griddle with water while it’s hot.
  12. Slice some apples and serve the pork with potatoes.

Why It Works

  1. Get lower on the hog than tenderloin.
  2. Honeycrisps and Russets are a good combination. Splurge on the apples and pinch pennies on the potatoes.
  3. Microwaved baked potatoes work fine, too. Just know that the pork is going to cook like super-super fast. Like this is the fastest meat dish you’ve ever cooked. Start your potatoes 10 minutes ago.
  4. This would also be the first move toward stir fry if you were serving with rice, which would be a totally reasonable thing to do.
  5. If you don’t have a tenderizing mallet, use a can wrapped in a plastic bag like in the Crushing, Breaking, Tearing, and Pounding as Moves move.
  6. Whatever soy sauce you have is fine.
  7. I hold tongs in my right hand and get my left hand porky.
  8. By the time I lay it down with my left and flip it and pick it up with the tongs in my right.
  9. Taste one as you go–probably should be the first one–to see if you like the doneness. Remember the carryover cooking that’s going to happen during the rest.
  10. You only have to rest the meat long enough to wash the griddle and slice the apple.
  11. I know you aren’t supposed to deglaze cast iron with water, but when you have charred soy sauce on your griddle, it’s either this or scraping it with metal. The water (which is actually mostly steam because the griddle is so hot) is actually more gentle than scraping. I apply rendered pork fat to it as soon as it dries (under flame).
  12. You don’t have to do anything to the apples. You got dinner on the table. Good job.

Mods:

  1. Serve with rice and dry slaw. Toss the apples in the slaw with some rice wine vinegar and sesame oil.
  2. Serve on slider buns with one of the Super Sauces.
  3. Serve in tacos with some Black Beans, Guac, Pico and dry slaw. (Toss the slaw in hot sauce or chipotle mayo.)


Cauliflower

Background: Cauliflower was the first true vegetable I ever loved and I still love it. It’s a great gateway vegetable because it’s like the potato of the cruciferous family. Once you get under that umbrella, you find acquired tastes like arugula and both true wasabi and the ingredients (horseradish, mustard, greens) for the ubiquitous fake, green paste found in U.S. sushi restaurants. To make the most of this wonder-veg, I’ll give you moves for breaking down cauliflower that yield 4-5 preparations. The mods are particularly important in this move because they add flavor and everyone loves flavor.

  1. Get you a big head or cauliflower or two.
  2. Get some garlic (Steamed Garlic, roasted garlic, granulated, and even raw garlic work for this move)
  3. Get some salt, oil, and butter.
  4. Get a microwave-safe bowl, a sheet tray, and a blender.
  5. Get a bigish chef’s knife and a cutting board.
  6. Remove the leaves and chiffonade them. Set aside.
  7. Cut the cauliflower in half from the head through the stem and then cut the halves in quarters.
  8. Cut out the stem and the small limbs going to the florets. Get as close to the florets as possible. Do this for all four quarters. Break up the florets with your hands.
  9. You should have a pile of nice-looking, relatively even-sized florets, some Dr. Seuss-looking weird stem quarters and some ribbons of leaves.
  10. Put the weird looking stem quarters in a microwave save bowl with about an inch of water in the bottom and microwave for, like, forever. I would start with 12 minutes and go from there. You want to be able to pierce the toughest part of the stalk with your chef’s fork. Add water if it’s running low.
  11. When it’s totally steamed, let it cool down a bit and prep the florets.
  12. Separate the florets in half. Toss one in salt, garlic and oil. Leave the other plain.
  13. Start roasting the salted, oiled, garlicked one in the oven or convection oven (yes an air fryer is a convection oven). I would do this as high as 400 degrees because I like a little char on mine. I’ve even been known to broil it to ensure I get the char I want.
  14. Now that the nuked stems are cooler (they should still be very warm), put them in the blender. Reserve the steaming water. Start blending and slowly add back the steaming water until you have a nice puree.
  15. Adjust the seasoning and purée again.
  16. Check the roasting florets.
  17. Put the plain half of florets in the bowl that the stems were in and steam them in a less aggressive fashion. I would start at 5 minutes, check, and then go some more. If you are using raw garlic, add it before you steam.
  18. When the timer goes off for the steamed heads, the roasted heads should also be done.
  19. You should now have roasted cauliflower florets, steamed cauliflower florets, cauliflower purée, a chiffonade of cauliflower leaves, and a bunch of little bits of cauliflower dots that broke off during the processing. Collect and save the little white dots for another preparation. Add garlic where you want it, but don’t add raw garlic at this stage.
  20. Serve “Cauliflower Four Ways,” save the components, or do a little of both. Put the purée down on a plate with a spoon and add a pat of butter like you would mashed potatoes. Sprinkle the chiffonade of leaves on top of the cauliflower purée. Add the florets on top, either with both the steamed and the charred ones scattered evenly around or in a yin-yang pattern for picky eaters. Adjust seasoning and serve.

Why It Works:

  1. When I’m doing a prep like this, I like to have lots of different kinds of leftovers, so I might do two. Keep in mind, that you can pull out components raw at any stage before cooking and have yourself prepped up for another night. This Cauliflower Four Ways move is more about mise en place than it is about making a showy cauliflower dish (which isn’t really showy until you get to the mods).
  2. If using raw garlic, add before in the steaming steps, but after in the roasting steps. The garlic shouldn’t burn in the steaming move, but it will in the roasting move. While char on veggies can be nice, it’s acrid on garlic.
  3. Neutral oils are best for this, but if you are vegan, you might want to replace the butter with a flavorful oil.
  4. You will be steaming half and roasting half.
  5. Your largest chef’s knife, as a general rule for chef’s knives, should be about an inch or two larger than the largest head of cauliflower that you usually buy.
  6. A chiffonade is just a think confetti of leaves. Cauliflower leaves are great for practicing your chiffonade technique because they have a celery-like center that stabilizes your knife, they are stackable without folding, and they don’t bruise like basil.
  7. You are quartering to expose the stems as much as possible.
  8. You actually want a lot of the stems because the puree is so useful. So cut the florets so they have as little stem as possible on them. This will also help them cook more evenly as the stems are tougher.
  9. Taste the leaves raw. Imagine them just warm and see if you like them that way. If not, put aside for stir fry. You are now serving cauliflower three ways.
  10. You know your microwave better than I do, so adjust your timing accordingly.
  11. You want these to be warm, but not so hot that the water is going to burn you or the steam that builds up in the blender causes the lid to blow off.
  12. You will season the plain ones later.
  13. Don’t start out by broiling. The timing of this move is important. If this is the first time you’ve done this, you might even start at 350 degrees. You can always broil at the end to catch up.
  14. The steaming water has nutrients in it, so don’t waste it. But also, don’t add so much back that you’ve got a watery mess. You are looking for thin-ish-mashed potatoes.
  15. You can add butter, garlic, and any other seasonings you want to the purée at this stage.
  16. If they are done, you can turn off the oven and leave them in there while you finish the other preps.
  17. Don’t make another bowl dirty. If you are using something other than raw garlic, add it after the steaming.
  18. Adjust the seasoning for the steamed florets.
  19. The little dots that litter your cutting board and countertop should be saved. I scoop them up with a spatula or bench scraper and save them for a rice pilaf move.
  20. Every component of this dish can be reheated for serving if it got cold while you prepped the others. Also, feel free to just make cauliflower one way and save the raw, already-broken-down components for another week. They will last several days in the fridge and indefinitely in the freezer.

Mods:

1. Add crushed pistachios to the top of the dish.

2. Add your favorite white cheese to the puree.

3. Add your favorite chilies to the mix. Add dried chilies or chili crunch to the roasted cauliflower and add roasted chilies to the puree.

4. Add crushed black peppercorns to the roasted cauliflower.

Crushing, Breaking, Tearing, & Pounding as Moves

Background: In terms of prep, Classic French cuisine is all about knife technique, producing things like the tourner or brunoise cuts. Those things have their advantages. However, there’s an argument to be made for more primitive techniques. Sometimes, I want a less refined presentation. Sometimes I’m just feeling like I want to smash things. Sometimes my knives are dull or my cutting boards are dirty. Sometimes, it just feels good to go caveman on a prep job, especially when you are in a moment of crisis. Here are my favorite extra primitive prep moves. Make sure to wash your hands.

  1. Crush cherry tomatoes with your hands to put into a rustic pasta dish.
  2. Break carrots and celery with your hands for stock. See how small you can get the pieces. Try an onion, too, just for fun.
  3. Tear the wings and legs off a roasted (or rotisserie) chicken and serve just like that.
  4. Tear pieces of bread to make croutons.
  5. Make a salad by tearing and crushing everything by hand.
  6. Tear tortillas (corn or flour) to make irregular chips or crackers.
  7. Use a can of tomato paste wrapped in a plastic bag to pound a cutlet.
  8. Use a can of roasted tomatoes to break whole nuts into a course meal as a topping.
  9. Use a rolling pin and a coffee cup as a mortar and pestle to crush more juice out of citrus.
  10. Use a tin of fish (or a flat rock) instead of a knife to crush raw garlic before peeling it.

Why It Works:

  1. It’s so satisfying. However, if you are wearing a shirt you like, you might want to put on an apron. I crush them down in a stock pot so the seeds hit the side of the pot and not my shirt.
  2. Yes. It’s true. You will not get the same surface area out of your aromatics this way and you might have to cook them longer. It might not taste the same, but you will get the soup on.
  3. Is there any other way to eat a roti chick?
  4. I like croutons that are weird shapes.
  5. Of course you are supposed to tear delicate lettuces, but what about grape tomatoes, crumbly cheeses, pounded nuts, those weird croutons?
  6. Tortillas are made for tearing and the final product looks cool in a world of perfectly triangle corn chips.
  7. I can’t say anything about pounding a cutlet with a straight face.
  8. You could crush nuts for that salad that I won’t shut up about. Or for the top of that rustic pasta. Or for dessert. Crushed pistachios on Mexican vanilla ice cream, anyone. It could be anything. Go nuts!
  9. I’m talking about the kind of rolling pin that’s just one long stick, not the one with handles. UIs that. Unless you have a citrus reamer. Those work even better.
  10. The papery skins come off way easier after you crack the integrity of the clove a bit.

Mods:

  1. Make a pico of sorts by crushing all the ingredients with two rocks like a molcajete.
  2. Use any can you want for 7,8, 10.
  3. Tear and bake pita bread instead of tortillas for great hummus dippers.

Beer Braised Mushroom and Wild Onion Pasta

Background: When I’m in a rush but I’ve prepped myself up a bunch, I can resort to stacking moves quickly. On a night when I’m making buttered noodles for my kids and my wife is working late, I’ll combine these moves to make myself something good.

  1. Do the Buttered Noodles move.
  2. Feed the kids, make them get in their PJs, and let them have some screen time.
  3. Now do the Beer Braised Mushroom move. Add extra beer to your mouth if desired.
  4. If you’ve done the Wild Onion move, add that to the mushroom move. If not, add your allium of choice (or proximity).
  5. Judge your desired noodle to mushroom ratio and pull out any mushrooms you want to save for leftovers or freeze for another move.
  6. Throw the noodles right in the mushroom pan to rewarm.
  7. Add a butter, milk or cream if you’ve got it.
  8. Grate some hard cheese like Asiago on top.

Why It Works:

  1. You can do the buttered noodles move the night before if your kids don’t mind microwaved. noodles.
  2. Your call on showers/baths.
  3. You can do this move the night before if you don’t mind rewarmed mushrooms. Warm them up in a pot or skillet though.
  4. Chives or garlic work well. Regular Frenched or diced onions plus braised mushrooms don’t create a lot of contrast in mouth feel. Through they would work if you do mod #1 below.
  5. The point here is to judge how much mushroom you want to save.
  6. There should be enough liquid in the pan, but if not, go to move #7.
  7. You just want enough to coat everything and bring the sauce together. Everything is going to warm up quickly, so not much is going to cook off.
  8. Or you might crumble a soft cheese like chèvre or Maytag bleu cheese at the end.

Mods:

  1. Add ground beef to this move.
  2. Add ground wild game to this move.
  3. Add toasted pine nuts to this move at the very very end.

Smoked Zucchini Avocado Dip

Background: Usually, by mid summer my garden is producing a lot of zucchini. Sometimes they get massive. Volume-wise, it’s one of the hardest things to eat your way through. So I developed this move as a way to use up those summer squashes and make a vegan (I’m not) lunch that’s satisfying.

  1. Get some zucchini.
  2. Get some avocado.
  3. Get some jalapeñoes.
  4. Light a real fire with hardwood someplace safe with a grill grate.
  5. Roast some jalapeñoes like in the Roasted Pepper move.
  6. Cut your zucchini in half, salt, and oil the flesh side.
  7. When the flames die down to coals, put it on the grate, flesh side down, and let it smoke until the skin side can be pierced easily with a chef’s fork.
  8. Put it in a food processor with the roasted, seeded jalapeñoes and steamed garlic and blend until it’s the consistency you want.
  9. Fold it in with chopped avocado like you are making guac.
  10. Season to taste with cumin and salt.
  11. Serve with corn chips or make your own like in the Corn Crisp Strips move.

Why It Works

  1. Zucchini is cheap, and it’s even cheaper if you grow it. It’s easy to grow from seed.
  2. Avocado is relative expensive and hard to grow. So you are cutting the expensive thing with the cheap thing, which is a classic move.
  3. Jalapeñoes vary in Scoville Heat Units. If you don’t know your tolerance to capsaicin, go easy on them.
  4. You could use any pepper.
  5. I like pecan. If you don’t feel like smoking it, you could gas grill it. This move won’t taste the same over a gas grill, but you could still get some benefit out of that process.
  6. You could do this ahead or use some from your fridge or freezer. Just make sure to thaw well ahead of time.
  7. The flesh side is the side that will absorb the most smoke…I’m guessing…but it will also stick to the grill. Plus, the extra oil will help the consistency of the purée when it’s time to blend.
  8. You could char it over flames and then scrape off some of the charred skin like you would a roasted pepper.
  9. You could go chunky or not. Your call. You could use a fork to kind of mash it in, if you want.
  10. If you don’t like cumin, you could try coriander to take it in a different direction. If you don’t like either, I can’t help you.
  11. It’s a versatile move. Just make the crisps triangles instead of strips.

Mods:

  1. Add cilantro, of course.
  2. Try yellow squash instead of zucchini.
  3. Add sour cream for another kind of dip.
  4. Add cream cheese for a spread.
  5. Add pico. Just don’t call it guac. Remember that whole pea thing?

Rice

Background: We eat a lot of rice. Usually it’s brown jasmine rice cooked simply in water. It’s the base layer for many other moves.

1. Get some rice you like to eat. Keep it on hand.

2. Get an electric pressure cooker.

3. Get a cup or two of rice and put it in the cooker.

4. Drizzle with oil and stir the dry rice with a chef’s fork so all the grains are coated with a thin layer of oil.

5. If using a pressure cooker, add the same amount of water, by volume, as you did rice.

6. Set the cooker for rice and let it cook.

7. Release the pressure, turn with a fork, and serve the rice.

8. Store leftover rice in the fridge in single serving takeout containers. Throw some in the freezer too.

Why It Works

1. Having dried rice on hand is always a good idea. We source the brown jasmine rice we like in 5 pound bags from an Asian market. I portion them out into reused glass peanut butter jars.

2. The pressure cooker method means I can dump a jar of rice in the cooker and then fill that same jar with water to get the ratios just right.

3. Use equal amounts of water for however many portions of rice you put in.

4. Coating the grains of rice in oil will keep the starch from bursting out of the grains, resulting in a pot of rice with individual grains instead of a goopy mass.

5. Add the water after you coat the grains in oil.

6. If using a rice cooker instead of a pressure cooker, you may need to add more water. Follow the directions that came with the cooker.

7. You can let the pressure release naturally or speed it up by turning the valve.

8. I serve some right away, store a couple servings in the fridge, and freeze the rest.

Mods.

1. Try using stock (veg or chicken) instead of water.

2. Make a pilaf by adding additional ingredients after the rice is cooked. I like slivered almonds, sesame seeds, and sunflower seeds.

3. Add dried fruit like raisins, cranberries, or dates.

4. Add spices.

Mac ‘n’ Cheese

Background: When I was a kid, we made mac ‘n’ cheese from the box with the radioactive orange pouch of powdered cheese. When I was a young adult, I learned how to make a Mornay sauce. I learned this move in between those other two moves. It’s the one I do most often. It’s the easiest, most stable, and most versatile.

  1. Get some veggie noodles or whatever your kids (and you) like.
  2. Make Buttered Noodles.
  3. Get some (at least 1 pound) high-quality white American cheese that isn’t individually wrapped. The latter part is especially important.
  4. Get some milk.
  5. Get a microwave safe bowl.
  6. Open the American cheese package and cut through the whole stack of slices, first in strips, then in cubes.
  7. Separate the cubes, to the extent you feel like it, into the glass bowl. Add a forth of a cup of milk to the bowl for every pound of cheese.
  8. Microwave for 3 minutes.
  9. Stir with a fork.
  10. Microwave for 3 minutes.
  11. Stir with a fork.
  12. Add more milk if necessary.
  13. Pour over noodles or add noodles to sauce, depending on your quantities of each.
  14. Keep extra sauce in the fridge for up to 3 weeks (probably longer, honestly, unless you use it to make queso. )

Why It Works

  1. You are training them to not be afraid of the word veggie, not actually feeding them something healthy.
  2. If you are doing the Buttered Noodles move on the same night, you can use the same method as you did in steps 9-14 in that move to make cheese sauce instead of Cacio e Pepe. If not, just pour over refrigerated buttered noodles.
  3. If you are unsure what that means, go to a fancy grocery store and look in the cheese case and try to find something that isn’t made by Kraft and isn’t individually wrapped. The slices should be offset for ease of peeling instead of having plastic between them. If you can’t find that, Havarti makes an excellent substitute. If you are looking for the justification for using American cheese when, clearly, it’s the lowest in the hierarchy of cheeses, then read J. Kenji López-Alt’s meatloaf analogy. If’s fine. Just try mod #1 below.
  4. Whatever milk you have on hand is fine. This is really just to loosen the sauce.
  5. High sides are good for this move. You can mix some noodles for the kids in the glass bowl and fancy up your own in the pot.
  6. This is why the “not individually wrapped” part is important.
  7. The amount of milk here is an estimate. If your result is too loose, add more American cheese and zap it again. Adjust your notes.
  8. Again, just an estimate. What you don’t want is the cheese turning brown anywhere, especially at the side of the bowl. I should say “what your kids don’t want” is the cheese turning brown. Adults know that’s just Dr. Maillard’s thing happening in the bowl. That’s where the flavor is.
  9. So, you could whisk it. But after doing this for the 57th time, you’ll probably fork it.
  10. Don’t forget to check for browning.
  11. Why a fork? For the same reason you fork your scrambled eggs: Because your dishwasher is always full and your sink is usually full of dirty dishes and there’s a good chance that two of your whisks are dirty and the other one fell down in that space between the fridge and the bottom cabinets. It’s fine. Use a fork. It takes up less space in the dishwasher anyway.
  12. Remember you can always add more milk, but you can only add as much cheese as you’ve got. Cheese is the limiting factor here. You could make this with water or chicken stock if you had to.
  13. It might be less of a “Pour” and more of a “Use a rubber spatula to coax the sauce out of the bowl and gently fold around noodles.”
  14. Pro-tip that’s probably going to be it’s own compound move at some point: Add pico to leftover sauce and you’ve basically got queso.

Mods:

  1. Steam the heck out of some frozen cauliflower…like really blast it in the microwave before you do this move. Then blend it up really really good. See if you can replace some or all of the milk with cauliflower purée and get it past your kids. Over the years, gradually increase the size and amount of cauliflower chunks until they are eating cauliflower cheese casserole.
  2. Top a portion for yourself with some of your own favorite cheeses like brie, bleu cheese, Parm, Asiago, Manchego, havarti, etc.
  3. Add crispy fried onions or shallots to the top!

Chilled Shrimp and Avocado Salad

Background: It’s really, really, really hot where I live most of the year. I used to make this with peeled, deveined, precooked, prechilled spicy seasoned shrimp from a fish counter that I trusted. I’ll still do that in a pinch, but it’s so much cheaper to do it this way. This is one of my go-to meals in the hot months.

  1. Make the Chipotle Ketchup 1000 Island Dressing mentioned in mod #2 of the Super Sauce move. You can keep it on hand for a while. When you feel like having something cold and satisfying, do the rest of this move.
  2. If you trust your seafood source, get some fresh shrimp. If you are unsure, get frozen. A small handful of large or extra large shrimp per person will work well. I get shell on, tail on, but EZ peel.
  3. Get an avocado, a lime, and a head of romaine lettuce.
  4. Put an inch of water in the bottom of a pot and put it on the stove on high. Then, use an electric tea kettle to boil more water quickly.
  5. Add the kettle of boiling water and the shrimp to the pot at the same time.
  6. Quickly make two ice baths.
  7. When the shrimp are pink and floating, use you spider strainer to move the shrimp from the boiling water to the ice bath.
  8. Take them out of the ice bath one at a time, peel and devein, and put in a fresh ice bath.
  9. Toss the shrimp in the Chipotle Ketchup 1000 Island Dressing.
  10. Arrange romaine leaves on a plate, spread sliced avocado on top of the lettuce, put a good spoonful of the shrimp salad in the center, and give it a squeeze of lime.

Why It Works

  1. This dressing is made mostly from shelf-stable ingredients, comes together quickly, and keeps for a longish time in the fridge.
  2. Frozen shrimp these days are often flash frozen on the boat and will emerge from the ice bath tasting “fresher” than poorly handled fresh shrimp.
  3. You need a hearty lettuce to stand up to the shrimp salad and avocado. Spring mix and baby lettuces don’t have the structure and crunch to stand up to the other ingredients.
  4. Or just boil water as you normally do. I do it this way to not heat up the kitchen as much.
  5. The key here is to add the shrimp to already boiling water so that they don’t overcook.
  6. Time is of the essence because, depending on the size and the state (fresh or frozen) of your shrimp, they could cook very quickly.
  7. This stops the cooking and starts the chilling process, even before you’ve started peeling them.
  8. Shrimp have an open circulatory system and absorb flavors. So it’s important that your water and ice are filtered and clean for both ice baths.
  9. I like to toss the shrimp alone in the sauce. They are now essentially preserved and can be chilled in the fridge for service. I wouldn’t necessarily eat them three days later, but it’s fine to make ahead for a dinner party.
  10. Sometimes I just toss in a big red bowl and sometimes I make a composed, plated salad. It depends on the context and my mood. But as long as your lettuce is sturdy and crunchy, it should work.

Mods:

  1. Use a wedge of iceberg and make it a wedge salad.
  2. Add Corn Crisp Strips like you would croutons.
  3. Garnish with cilantro.
  4. Throw some chilled roasted corn on top.