The Sad Move

Background: Nope.

  1. Get some hot dogs.
  2. Get some compostable paper plates.
  3. Microwave the hot dogs on a paper plate until they explode.
  4. Try again. This time pay attention.
  5. Cut up and serve bun-less with foraged ketchup for dipping.

Why It Works

  1. I mean, you could actually try. Get grass-fed, free range, organic, uncured, artisanal hot dogs if you want to, but it doesn’t really matter.
  2. I know you are upset, but don’t be a monster using styrofoam plates. Sheesh.
  3. If you splurged for the artisanal hot dogs, eat the exploded ones yourself.
  4. Also if you got the expensive hot dogs, there’s a good chance the kids won’t eat them.
  5. Forks are optional.

Mods:

  1. If anyone asks for a bun, wrap a naked dog in a tortilla and see if that will fly.